Your food doesn't taste good. Putting deer meat in a dumpling isn't so much original as it is gross. Charging thirteen dollars for 2 ounces of tuna with some kind of regurgitated green slop (macadamia puree infused with wasabi-ok fuckers) isn't so much high class as a fucking rip-off. You suck. Your food sucks, you attract fedora-wearing assholes who think that if they spend $200 on dinner they'll have something sweet to talk about with their fedora-wearing asshole friends. Fuck you!
Yesterday I ran approximately 30 feet to catch a skytrain at Broadway station and I didn't catch my breath until Stadium (probably four minutes away). I'd give that 2 notches short of morbid obesity, 5 good notches away from "physically fit".
If you ever see a commercial for "Muckleshoot Casino" you MUST watch it. It features a trailer-y woman telling the story of her son taking her for lunch to the casino every Sunday, before which she plays the penny slots. Complete with Native accent: "I don't play the nickel slots, they're for high rollers.". The story ends with her winning $89 and feeling like a high roller herself. Way to promote racial profiling and confirm stereotypes! It's the best commercial I've ever seen, next to the one for the old-people scooters where the announcer goes "YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE!" and cuts to 2 senior citizens perched in their scooters at the edge of the Grand Canyon.
A warning to all: Don't walk down what is SUPPOSED to be a vacant hallway, letting out a stream of flatulence the whole way, unless you're sure it is, in fact, a vacant hallway.
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